"You're About To Gain Exclusive Access To The Secret Strategies I Use To Find My Princess & Fight Terrorists & Assholes"

Don't miss one amazing episode of John Tyler's Princess Podcast!
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    John Tyler's beautiful Princess in her wedding dress FREE! Baby, I Miss You (Being Apart Makes Me Feel Nuts) (Jan. 7, 2014) - Listen now to this unedited, unbridled follow-up to last year's expression of adoration. Just in case the last podcast left any question as to the intensity of my feelings, listen in again as I tell my gorgeous Princess how much I miss her and how living without her makes me feel completely nuts! Eight minutes of this will have you declaring without hesitation, "That's crazy!" Crazy love, that is.

    FREE! Baby, You are so Beautiful
    (Feb. 28, 2013)
    - An instant classic! You get to eavesdrop on a personal, heartfelt message to my lovely Princess. Listen in as I tell her how much she means to me and how difficult living without her has been. To paraphrase one listener's account, you quite possibly could explode from the amount of cuteness in this video.

    FREE! Who Are The Mysterious Airplane Men?
    (June 8, 2011)
    - I go into depth about the mysterious airplane men on my flight from Houston to Charlotte. I also give an update on several helicopters now seen flying in formation over the house. You'll learn the truth about my alleged gambling problem and my current need for baking soda and deodorant.

    FREE! Black Helicopters Are Overhead And Hackers Have Computer Access (March 1, 2011) - Learn how pursuit of the Princess is at a standstill due to a virtual home imprisonment, hackers infiltrated my computer and brought down three of my sites, and the shocking secret about military jets and black helicopters keeping watch over my current location!

    John Tyler's beautiful Princess in her wedding dress

    FREE! The Road Trip, The Talking Dog, The Media Is Very Important
    (July 27, 2010)
    -I share important news about the road trip I want to take with the Princess as soon as possible, and I let you hear my most recent success: teaching a dog to talk. I also apologize to the media for anything offensive I might have said about them and reaffirm their utmost importance in our lives.

    FREE! Princess Search Update and Upcoming Events (Feb. 23, 2010) - I encourage my gorgeous Princess not to give up on us. Also, I list some upcoming events where podcast listeners can meet me or see me in public, including a Skinny Puppy DJ gig at the Lizard Lounge in Dallas and a 80s club reunion at Numbers Nightclub in Houston.

    FREE! The Limo Ride and Al Jourgensen's Spoon (Sept. 14, 2009) - The FBI is watching your life today! In terms of downloads, the most popular Princess Podcast yet. Learn how a limousine ride to Numbers Nightclub in Houston ended with me having an rather unique momento...a rock star's spoon. Also, hear my fabulous singing voice.

    To Perth and Back (Aug. 16, 2009) - A trip to Perth, Australia turns unusual when the overseas flight begins with U.S. Customs agents removing two mystery men from my plane. Terrorists? Assholes? No one seems to know (or wants to say). Hear about the Asian girl I met on the streets of Northbridge with instructions on how to receive a free gift.

    The Princess is Amazingly Gorgeous (June 6, 2009) - I speak directly to my future wife and explain just how lovely she really is. Also, I question parents on how they would handle a teenager who, after studying the Book of Ezekiel, asks about lovers whose genitals are like those of donkeys and whose emissions are like that of horses.


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© 2011-2014 John Tyler